Blog origin story. I originally started this blog because I thought it was time to come out of the closet: underneath my cheerful and peaceful exterior, I was totally freaking out. Daily. Did people think I was basically always happy? Quite possibly, especially if they only saw the outgoing, hula-hooping, yoga-practicing me. Funny that the original blog entries focus on my struggles with anxiety and completely ignore depression. For some reason I was willing to get on the megaphone and say “I HAVE ANXIETY (and even panic)” but depression had to stay in the closet kicking at the door for a number years before I was willing to make that part of this project.
You might notice that there’s a giant gap between early posts, and my March 2017 post. Thinking back, I used to waited for moments I could spin into lighthearted hopeful endings. They were the truth, but not the whole truth. I have decided to keep these posts, but current and future posts won’t be the movie trailer version of my emotional life. Not that I intend to write dark, longwinded (and unreadable:-/) posts. Just opening up the field of view, to mix my metaphors.
On the topic of intention, suppose I should lay out “my intention for this blog” since I because I did invoke the “i” word, and blog “About page” protocol requires it.
My Intention for the New Version of the Daily Freakout. I plan for this blog to bring readers comfort, laughter, insight, and to be all things to all people. Um. Okay, possibly true but really: I hope my stories and my take on living with mental health issues is in some way helpful to people who deal with the same struggles, and to people who care about them. In my nerdy fashion, I will most likely share related weird and/or hopeful scientific studies. I was raised by scientists; I can’t help it.
Claimers and Disclaimers. “Freaking out” is not what my therapists write down on their legal pads/overflowing files. It is not in the DSM IV, earlier or later versions. I have mixed feelings about diagnoses: I feel they tend to be useful and also they tend to be useless. In some later post I will write about this.
My housemates. My two greyhounds, Gee and Pixie, who generally like to chill out all day and snuggle whenever possible. That is, unless Pixie finds something to chase, or until it’s dinner time. Or when there are sirens outside. (Roo-roo, roo-roo, roooooooooo-rooooooo!).
Random. Public speaking is one of Americans’ top reported fears. Strangely, I am terrified of driving on the highway but enjoy public speaking. So, go ahead, invite me to give a lecture. No, really. I’m available for speaking engagements. Just as long as I don’t have to drive.
I’m very impressed with your blog, both for the quality of the writing and the courage it takes to do it. Super kudos! And do let me know when you’re down at the school again, and I’ll let you know when I’m up north. We must catch up.
You give me the courage to write the underneath story that I have always tried to camouflage in my writing. Love your Blog and studying Memoir Creative Writing with you. Yes, I am writing!
Thank you, Mary Ellen! I know what you mean by camouflage. Sometimes what we are afraid to write is what we most need to say. Then you might wait for your world to crumble around you…and it doesn’t!