A few evenings ago, when my broken and surgically repaired elbow had healed sufficiently to be able to turn the steering wheel, and I had already driven my car to physical therapy two days before without a problem, I still asked Tony to drive me to my next PT appointment,…
I used to think this question was motivational and even profound: “What would you do if you could not fail?” Now, I hate it. The saying taunts me as if to suggest I’ve somehow forgotten my dream. The dream I’ve held onto with a loosening grip since I was old…
A gift from my anxiety is the power of my imagination. Anxiety is a future focused state, dependent on wildly irrational beliefs about what the future may hold. Where do these come from? Definitely not experience. These notions come from extreme creative thought. Like the certainty that my pillows lay…
It’s 3:30 a.m. and my beloved greyhound Gee is having a grand mal seizure on the couch. I can feel adrenaline—in the form of full alertness—course through my body. I watch over her, her paddling legs and foaming mouth, to make sure she will not injure herself. There is not…
How I’m using my pottery class as a practice in learning to “dare greatly;” be vulnerable, be willing to fail in order to succeed.
Anyone who suffers from anxiety knows what it feels like to be told, “you should just…” followed by some oversimplified answer. Or the sentence ends in some technique you’ve already tried (and tried). My favorite advice regarding my driving issue is, “Just get on the highway.” This pearl comes straight…
I didn’t feel the sense of ease I’d been waiting for until I was one exit away from returning home during today’s driving lesson. It’d been a while since I’d been on the highway and my baseline anxiety level was up before I even got in the car. I questioned…
Not Getting on (the PhD) Track Not until senior year in college did I learn that not everyone has to earn PhD. That’s how I used to put it, anyway, and only half joking. My parents both had PhDs, their friends all (seemingly) had PhDs. I certainly knew that plenty…
An unexpectedly effective therapy for fear of highway driving.
“I’m always afraid my first swim of every season,” a veteran triathlete told me at my second open water swim practice with a local triathlon club. More than a few good swimmers and determined triathletes told me stories of feeling fear or even having panic attacks in open water. A…
